The problems not solved by a donut are few,
And even those problems are solved by two.
Well, the cliche' is cops and donuts, or doughnuts if you want to get all literary. There are many reasons why the donut is the perfect cop food. Here are a few of my personal favorites. Please feel free to add any thoughts you might have on the subject.
- they are inexpensive- cops can afford them
- they are easy to eat on the go - cops have to be ready to respond to radio calls in an instant
- they are filling- a cop never knows when or if they will get a true dinner break
- they are carbs - a cop always needs to be able to have a burst of energy while chasing someone
- they are made during the middle of the night - who else is working at those hours?
- they come in many flavors- cops have a wide variety of taste preferences
- they are easy to find- every diner, convenience store or grocery has fresh donuts
- they are easy to share- cops always take care of each other
- they are easy to trade- many a tip I received from a bum was coaxed with a donut
- they go great with coffee- sugar and caffeine are a marriage made in heaven, especially if you work midnights
- they are easy to clean up- if you spill while driving 100mph after some murderer, when it's over you can just throw it away. The birds will be grateful
- they are a common language- every culture has it's version of the donut
- they are a great ice breaker- you can make any pickle puss citizen crack a smile by making a donut joke
- you can take your left-overs home- the rug rats and spouse will scarf them up
- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD DONUT!
- _______________________________________(your comments are appreciated-fill in the blank)
Anonymous Ode To Donuts from the Internet:
Ode to Donuts
Look, yonder!
A Donut! with icing and sprinkles!
A must-have food item on a day like today
(With the cold and the work and the no sleep)
Ah, that buttery taste.
Coffee? Yes please!
Hm; that was good. Perhaps I should have another!
I give my last change to the clerk, my new brother,
And the pastry goes down with ease.
Maybe more? Shouldn't let them go to waste!
(With the cream and the jelly and the chocolate so deep)
Just one more and I'll be on my way.
Yes, sir, that one with all the sugary wrinkles.
Mmmm...what a good food to ponder.
Shit; now I weigh 250 pounds.
A Donut! with icing and sprinkles!
A must-have food item on a day like today
(With the cold and the work and the no sleep)
Ah, that buttery taste.
Coffee? Yes please!
Hm; that was good. Perhaps I should have another!
I give my last change to the clerk, my new brother,
And the pastry goes down with ease.
Maybe more? Shouldn't let them go to waste!
(With the cream and the jelly and the chocolate so deep)
Just one more and I'll be on my way.
Yes, sir, that one with all the sugary wrinkles.
Mmmm...what a good food to ponder.
Shit; now I weigh 250 pounds.
*
Ode to the Donut
Oh, Donut
How your sweetness and flavorings make my taste buds dance
As if romping in a bed of chocolaty sprinkles
Your fluffy, sweet bread adds texture to your yumminess
And your frosting on top comes in all flavors and colors
Chocolaty brown, sugary pink,
and even clear glazed.
Some donuts are old-fashioned
While some are bars and fritters
Many have holes in the middle
But some have jam, jelly, or custard centers.
Sure, some people abuse donuts
They then become known as “fat”.
The stereotypical police man eats donuts with coffee.
So whether you’re Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme
Never leave me, donut
You’re the perfect breakfast food.
You are deep-fried, cooked, sugared and covered
And you go perfect with milk
Your sprinkles add crunch and color
And donut,
I love you!
Oh, Donut
How your sweetness and flavorings make my taste buds dance
As if romping in a bed of chocolaty sprinkles
Your fluffy, sweet bread adds texture to your yumminess
And your frosting on top comes in all flavors and colors
Chocolaty brown, sugary pink,
and even clear glazed.
Some donuts are old-fashioned
While some are bars and fritters
Many have holes in the middle
But some have jam, jelly, or custard centers.
Sure, some people abuse donuts
They then become known as “fat”.
The stereotypical police man eats donuts with coffee.
So whether you’re Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme
Never leave me, donut
You’re the perfect breakfast food.
You are deep-fried, cooked, sugared and covered
And you go perfect with milk
Your sprinkles add crunch and color
And donut,
I love you!
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