LUCKY ME!!!

As the song goes:  " Money, Money, Money .................MONEY!

Wow! I must be the luckiest person on the planet! I have become a billionaire in just as couple weeks. What are the odds? I just received notifications from two separate attorneys for the United Nations that I am receiving a grant AND and endowment, The grant is 6.5 million and the endowment is 8 million.!!!!

AND, get this, simultaneously, as luck would have it, an aunt in Italy is leaving me 3.5 million, an uncle in Hong Kong left me 5 million, a cousin in the Philippines and a secret admirer in Nigeria wants me to have 6 million! I can harldy... believit it!

Who knew I had so many sick, dying rich relatives- all of whom want ME to share in their good fortune. I want to pay off all yalls mortgages. I'll just need to borrow a few thousand dollars from each of you to pay off those 'pesky' processing fees. So if you would kindly mail me certified checks made out to CASH to my P.O. Box in Switzerland I can get the claims process started.

 I am a bit concerned tho, none of those attorneys can spell or construct a complete sentance. But, what ever. I look forward to sharing my great forturne with 250 of my closest friends!

 Love you all!

BUSH~WHACKING WHILE DRIVING! You just can't make this stuff up!

BUSH-WHACKING WHILE DRIVING!

BWI?

(Bush-whacker)

You just can't make this stuff up!

Like I said: 

You just can't make this stuff up!



" I'm not gonna write you 'a' ticket..................."

I remember the time my lieutenant assigned me to start enforcing the new STOP signs located in an exclusive shopping area. They guarded a heavily used crosswalk.

 

The merchants association had been hounding the commission for ages, wanting those signs.

 

The signs had been up for a month, they held back on enforcing them so people could get used to them being there.

 

So, that day, I head out there, stop at the French Bakery and get a cup of coffee and a croissant roll.

 

I set up in front of the an Italian restaurant about a half block away (clearly visable) and get all comfy. I no more than got a sip and a nip when a big Cadillac zooms thru the intersection. Thank heaven for plastic lids!

 

I get her pulled over in front of a jewelry store (one that could give Tiffany's a run for their money).

 

I walk up to her window and she's all decked out in her la-de-da designer outfit, perfect hair, jewelery up the ying yang. I announce her violation and make the usual request for her DL, registration and proof of insurance.

 

 

As she produces the paper work she says in her prissy entitled attitude, "you can't write me a ticket,

 I was on the committee that got those signs installed!"

 

"I'll be right back m'am". I go back  to my car and run her stuff.

 

I am sure she assumed I was checking with the mother ship to verify her special dispensation - and the brass would say I should let her go. I finish and return to her window.

 

"Your're right m'am, I won't be writing you 'A' ticket..."

 

She begins to smirk, content in her superiority........................

 

"I'll be writing you two.  Your tag is expired".

 

Heeh, Heeh, heeh, I loved that job!

 

Besides, it's not good to make my coffee get cold!

 

BTW please note, I had a croissant not a donut!

 

 

 

To paraphrase Colonel Jessup - an open letter to the nit pickers

To paraphrase Col. Nathan Jessup in A Few Good Men...

Dear NIT PICKERS,

"I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom! You weep for Bin Laden and you curse the military. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: That while his death might be tragic to some it saved lives. And while the existance of OUR military may be grotesque and incomprehensible to some, it saves lives!

You don't want to know the truth...because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want us on that wall! You NEED us on that wall! 

We use words like honor, code, loyalty, patriotism. We use those words as the backbone of a life defending a nation. You use them as a punch line!

The military has neither the time nor the inclination to explain to those who refuse to comprehend - to the ignorant few who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very freedom they provide, and then dare to question the manner in which it is provided. "

It would be interesting to see the naysayers take up a post and stand a watch- walk a few dozen miles in a desert, humping a 90 lb back pack and dodging bullets, shrapnel and slurs. Sweating, bleeding, dying, losing friends and colleagues. Suffering hardship inspite of the unappreciative liberals and political nit pickers. 

Frankly I don't Give A DAMN what they think! Our military is the greatest force for good ever seen on the face of the earth!!!!!!!!