HELLO????

HELLO SAYRA-SOTA ????

The one thing you never wanted to hear the at shift meeting was the Sergeant calling  your name to work desk duty.  It seems that in the movies and on TV the audience is left with the impression that being the desk officer is some kind of good assignment. 

Quite the contrary, working the desk pretty much sucks.  It’s like having a ball and chain around your ankle.  You have to sit there all night except for an occasional potty break and supper.  And listen to nut jobs via Ma Bell.

So, it was with much disappointment that night, when I heard him assign me to the desk.  The night went by pretty much as expected.  The usual round of stupid questions and snotty citizens. They ask a question then like to argue with you when you tell them the answer.  As if winning their point could change the law.


I would try to squeeze in a chapter from my favorite Joseph Wambaugh book between complaints.  Every time I wanted to choke one of the callers out I would think what Rosco Rules do to this one, and grin.  I was just getting into the juicy party scene where Reba (no balls)Hadley was tricked into sitting on the glass coffee table when my phone rang… 
“Desk Officer, How can I help you?”

“Hayloooow?  Hello Sarasota!”  The voice boomed over the receiver.  “This is Trooper Leon Boyce with the Hinesville Georgia Highway Patrol!”  He said with a distinctive southern drawl.  He drew the words out long and full “Thys iys Taahroooopaahh Leeeon Boyce with the Hiiiineeesssvyyllle  Geee-ourgia  Hiiiiiiiiiway Patttrolllll”.  

O.K. I thought, this is gonna be good.  He went on in his thick heavy drawl.  “Yall got a stolen Corvette down theyah?” 

Hell, I didn’t know, probably.  Possibly a report taken a day or two earlier on the day shift. 


 “If you can give me a tag number, I’ll go check.” 

“Don’t rightly know as yet” he replied. 
Then he went on .....


“One of aourha boyz was a chasin’ em on the hiiiwayha.  Got to goin’ purdy good too.    Theyz in the woods ryt naow.  Iham sorry to say the cah’s wrecked. They ‘rapped it round a pine tree.  We got the ghurls.  Theyha on theyha way to jjayellll ryght naow.”

By this time I was about to split a gut trying not to laugh into the phone, but wait it got better!

“So the car is wrecked?” I asked. 


“Yep, lyke I sayd, we got the ghurls. I expect the boyz’ll be in di-recktly. Won’t be toooo long naow --the DAWGS is on ‘em”.

Oh, my gosh, I was so glad the Sarge put me on the desk.  This phone call was worth it’s weight in Geeeeooooorgiah  peeeeekaans!




Turned out one of our rich citizens had given his brand spanking new Corvette over to a valet at the local dinner theater.  It just so happened that the valet, a 17 year old troubled young man decided at that very moment to retire from the valet industry and take a few of his closest friends on a little joy ride. 


It had started out to be a just a spin to the beach; that turned into a test drive on the interstate; that turned out to be a ‘hey, let’s go to Myrtle Beach!'

Only goes to prove sometimes you can have fun working the desk.